Saturday May 30th 2020



Cocoa Roast Almonds by Emerald

I could go completely low-brow here and make a “LOL, nuts” joke, but I won’t (except indirectly, since we just kind of mentioned it…). So we’ll go the Pepperidge Farm route. Back when I was a kid (in the nineteen hurbffflherffities), my family always bought me a jar of honey roasted peanuts to put in my Christmas stocking.

We didn’t have a lot of money, and those things were pretty pricey as food goes. So seeing that stocking crammed with a big jar of those sweet, crunchy bastards that I didn’t have to share with my brother, was pretty goddamn awesome.

As fondly as I remember this tradition, discovering these bad boys was like going from playing with toys to thinking about girls; yes, that drastic. These damn things rule. For the past few weeks I’ve been keeping a jar of them at my desk, to stifle hunger cravings and keep me from raiding the disgusting crap in the vending machines here. And it works, like a champ.

So put some of these nuts in your mouth, you won’t regret it. (Yeah, I totally lied.)

Price: $24 (4 jars) | Get:

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